One Year Ago Today

Happy 1st Birthday Avery Joleigh!!

Love and Hate

I have a love/hate relationship with my body. Here's why:

*I love my body because it is healthy and functioning. I can run and walk, and I don't need anyone to help me in the bathroom. For this I am eternally grateful and do not take it for granted.

*I hate my body because it is still carrying thirteen extra pounds of baby weight and is covered in stretch marks and a big c-section scar. Not to mention that those c-sections did irreversible damage to my stomach. No more bikini for me. :(

*I love my body because I was able to carry my two babies for nine months. Some women do not get to experience that, and I do not take it lightly that I did.

*I hate my body because something happened in the operating room when I had Grace. After the doctor delivered her, he proceeded to take all the afterbirth out and throw it in a tray. I think he accidentally took my metabolism and threw it in the tray as well. I can't even look at a piece of candy without gaining at least three pounds.

*I love my body because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)

I don't know why I'm rambling about this, it's just something on mind right now. I feel like I'm never going to get back to where I was before Grace and that makes me sad. You can say whatever you want about vanity or that I should just feel blessed to have my children. I do feel blessed to have them, but I still have to look at myself everyday. I've been going to the gym but it just feels like I"m stuck. I'm going to keep going to the gym and try to change some more of my eating habits. I just have to keep positive. But for today I'm having a hate day, and that's okay. But I will not eat bad things because of the way I feel. I will have self control, so I can have a love day tomorrow. Does any of this make sense??? I think I need to stop rambling.

**The song on my play list is about a girl with an eating disorder, and I've always thought the words were powerful. I do not have, nor have I ever had, an eating disorder. But this song reminds me that there is more to me than what I see in the mirror, and I can't let it dictate my life. Looking in the mirror too long brings on the hate relationship again. Why do we do that to ourselves?

You Need To Make These!!

I'm not kidding! I love these cookies. The original title is Snickers Cookies, but I like to use them for plain old peanut butter cookies. I got the recipe from a cooking blog by one of the spouses in SSA (student spouse association) in Kirksville. You can click here if you want the recipe and to check out her blog. She does it with her sisters and they are great cooks. I found this one on there and I will never use another peanut butter cookie recipe again, even the Martha Stewart one that I loved so much. These are even better!! I made them twice this week, once for Mom2Mom and today for Scottie to take to work. He really wanted me to make more after eating a couple the other day and I told him I would only make them if he promises to take them out of the house. I just can't have cookies laying around, it's my form of drugs. I have to eat them if they are here, so I can only make cookies if I'm giving them away.

So really, you should give these cookies a try. Like I said I don't use them with the snickers in the middle, I don't really care for them that way. But I have put Hershey Kisses in the middle and they tasted really good. Scottie said the nurses kept telling him how good they were, and they would be happy anytime I wanted to bake cookies for them. This could work out since I love to bake, but can't keep them for myself.

Let me know if you try them.
(The picture shows all three types. One plain, one with snickers, and the other with a Hershey Kiss in the middle.)

Chili Supper/School Carnival

Last Saturday was Gracie's school carnival and chili supper. They had a lot of fun activities and we had a really good time. It was a little crowded at times, and not everyone has the same convictions about health and hygiene as we do. In fact I'm sure Grace picked up some of her current sickness at the carnival. People were letting their kids hack and cough all over the place. I was talking to Gracie's teacher and she told me that there were a couple of kids at the carnival that she had sent home the day before with 103 temperatures. Why can't people stay home when they are sick??!! Oh well, we had a good time regardless!

The gym was full of inflatable slides and jumping houses. Grace loved it! Of course we had to pay ten dollars for her to play on them, but the bracelet allowed her to play all of the games in the carnival. So it was worth it.

This girl loves these kind of slides.

Mommy and Avery

We did the cake walk in Gracie's classroom. She was a little sad that neither one of us won. Maybe next time! Please disregard the fact that I look drunk and pregnant. For some reason I stick my belly out when I hold Avery like that. I really need to strengthen my stomach muscles!!

This guy made balloons for two and half hours. The kids loved the balloon shapes that he made. He is a talented guy!

Grace wanted a kitty - shocker!! She loved that it came with it's own leash.

I LOVE dressing the girls alike. I know some people think it's cheesy and tacky, but not me! I only have a few years left where Grace will want to dress like her little sister, so I try to find as many outfits as I can.

We had a really nice evening at her school. She loved taking us around her school. She was a very proud student. It makes me a little sad that she won't get to continue the friendships and relationships she is making this year. But it will be exciting to go to a new school and make new friends. At least I hope that's the attitude she will have when it's time to move.

Guess Who's Walking??

Avery took her first steps a few nights ago. She thinks it's pretty exciting, but isn't ready to do it all the time. She will walk from one person to another, and sometimes she will let go of the wall or chair to take a few steps. But I wouldn't classify her as a "walker." It won't be long before she is running after Grace and Kingsley. The question is: are they ready for her? We are so proud of our little sweet pea!

** You will have to pause the music if you want to listen to the video. Avery's excitement is cute, but my Mickey Mouse voice is not. ;)

How Does She Do That?

This is how I've found Avery the past few times I've gotten her from her nap. I have no idea how she get's her arm out, but I'm pretty sure she does it before she falls asleep. The other day I woke her up and saw that she had one arm out of the neck hole of her shirt. That's how she fell asleep. She is a little nut ball! I've also noticed that she has started to help me get her dressed. Sometimes when I go to put her shirt on she bends her head down so I can slide it through. She always pushes her arms through the sleeves, and recently she has started to put her legs up when I want to put her pants on. I think she is crazy smart, and a really great helper. Let's just hope she is always so eager to help with her clothes. Because her big sister went through a stage where getting her dressed required both of us and it was a wrestling match. Those were some crazy days, let me tell you!! But I won't think about that too much, and just enjoy this stage she is in right now. :)